Just wanted to give you all a little reminder... Leo and little children (children IN GENERAL) are extremely susceptible for all kinds of illnesses during this time of year. October-March is the absolute worst time of year for children. It's referred to as RSV season. This is when children like Leo get sick the most, need to stay isolated, parents and other adults need to be more mindful of germs that may pass onto their children. With this being said, I want to dive into why I named this blog "You're Not Failing, Momma" (this could also apply to all the Dads out there as well!)
Going home, I had multiple doctors make me aware that though we are discharged home - hospital trips/stays would happen quite often. They wanted to assure me that I wasn't a failure because of this, and it's just due to the nature of Leo having a trach. A trach child has no way of filtering the air they breathe. The stoma is literally a direct airway into the lungs. Leo gets sick around once a month. We can usually tell this by the color changes and odor of his secretions, him being limp while sleeping, not being as alert during the day, tiredness, agitation, and of course a temperature. We have learned all of this through time and unfortunately trial/error. There has been a couple times where we thought we were in the clear by just using tylenol to help with Leo's sickness, and then in the middle of the night we are driving him to the ER with a O2 sat of 70 while performing rescue breaths with our ambu-bag. Leo's been home for about 7 months now, and just these past 2 months we were able to catch his sickness before it worsened, and treat with antibiotics at home. It is 10/23/20 and Leo has been admitted since 10/18/20. Sunday, he didn't seem terrible. Maybe some trouble breathing, a couple d-sats, but when he gets so limp that he doesn't react to anything that's when we start to get nervous. The reason why we didn't just ask for antibiotics or this sickness is because he had literally finished a round of antibiotics on 10/13/20. So he was still sick after 5 days of finishing a whole 10 days of being on antibiotics. Turns out he has pneumonia and a staph growing in his trach. (this is completely "normal" for him) This happens every once in a while where his illness is worse than the normal case of tracheitis. Now we've been in the hospital longer than anticipated but only because we are working on modifying his medications so he doesn't create a mucous plug after each trach change. (Poor Bub's mucous is too thick that he plugs his trach, and he isn't able to breathe. There are medications to loosen the secretions to prevent this. They have been finding the perfect dosage for him) As of right now, the plan is to leave 10/23/20, TODAY! So I thought it was a good opportunity to write about it, and just say to everyone that you're not failing because of this. Kids like Leo get sick ALL the time. And when they do get sick, it's not the normal sickness. Their oxygen drops, heart rates could drop, emergency plans are created and followed through. This isn't because of something you did or didn't do. I don't get upset when he goes into the hospital anymore because I know I am taking the proper precautions, our nurse is, and other people in contact with Leo are as clean/careful as they can possibly be. You're the parent, and you'll learn/adapt to your child's sickness. Again, for the parents that need to hear it one more time - you are not a failure! This happens, and it will happen again in the future. Thanks, all !
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Hey, all. I just wanted to touch on the subject of having another child. Which isn't really sensitive in my opinion. I feel indifferent about the situation to be honest with you. First off, I'll just tell you all that I definitely pictured myself living in a house with 2 or 3 kids running around, playing, becoming best friends. You know if you have siblings... I have some of my best memories as a child with my siblings and our cousins growing up. I enjoyed living with other children, and I liked having that big family. So as I grew older, I kind of always knew that I wanted a family with kidS. Yet, with Leo, I feel as if my plans have changed.
No one ever thinks while getting pregnant that anything bad will happen. Or maybe they do. I am not sure. I was more nervous about being a mom, being ready, closing on our house, rather than Leo's health. None of my family members had congenital health issues, no pre-mature births, and for the most part we are pretty healthy. The same goes for Trent's part of the family. So I assumed that I would have a normal pregnancy like everyone else I knew and have our Leo. Though things don't work out that way. EVER. Now living day to day life, I can't confidently say that I will have another child. As of right now, I am more on the side of not wanting another child. Yet, that could be because Leo hasn't been home all that long (about 6 months), we are still adjusting to our lifestyle, and I am also going to nursing school. There is A LOT on our plate right now as parents, full time workers, etc. I want to have the energy to be the best parent I can be for my Bub right now, and I couldn't imagine being the best in anything while being pregnant. (not to mention I absolutely hated pregnancy. i did not enjoy it whatsoever. up until I saw my perfect Bub, of course) You also have to think and really empathize with what happened this past year - We had an extremely traumatic event happen. Yes, Leo is the best thing on earth, and I love him more than anything, but when parents go through these issues with a child. It changes you. It brings a pain that can't even be described with words. You know how people say that they'd die for another person they love? Well. I'd die for Leo to just have 1 minute of a "normal" life. A life where he didn't need a ventilator, he could laugh, smile, and play like how he should be at his age. I make the best of our situation, but don't think for one minute that I wouldn't give anything to give that boy a better chance at life. And seeing my first child go through all of this... It feels like the universe is pulling out one heart string at a time after each day that goes by. Knowing that this is his life, and I am his mother. I will do everything for him for as long as I live, but I wish I could had given him a better life. Another thing I mentioned in my post that is a pretty deep sadness that I have in my heart is the fact that I feel my body rejected being pregnant. I can't understand being infertile or going through multiple miscarriages to wind up never being able to keep a baby. Yet, I understand the feeling that as a woman - my body was made to produce children. The fact that I couldn't keep a pregnancy as long as I should have; I couldn't produce a healthy child. It cuts me to my core. Which is why I love/compete in weightlifting. I have the power to make a 10lbs weight cut the day before, you know why? That requires discipline, and I can suffer a whole lot. I have the power to perfect each and every lift I make, putting my body through the ringer, staying up and repeating drill after drill. I can mold my body the way I want, and I can make myself good enough to be a f*cking, fierce competitor. Yet, when you're pregnant. You can do everything right. You can take the vitamins. You can exercise lightly. You can eat all the nutrients they recommend. You can listen to your doctor. But that doesn't matter. It does to a certain extent, of course, but there are just some things that you can't control with pregnancy, and that is definitely scary. So with that being said and having that feeling of no control while carrying another human being, the fear of having to make the same decisions with another baby, I can't confidently say we would have another. That isn't to say that it's not impossible to have another one or no one else wouldn't want more if they went through what we have with our Leo. It's just that I am not mentally or physically ready to have another. I've also not decided if I ever will be mentally or physically ready, and that's okay. I think people tend to pressure other women with one child to have another, but you don't know what they've gone through with that one child. Maybe that one child was their rainbow baby, and they are soaking up that season in their life with that one child. Maybe they had one child and there were complications that made them decide on getting their tubes tied right afterwards. Who knows! We personally have gone through such traumatic events with our Leo, that we can't even begin to think about another. Again, we are only 6 months in to having him home with us, and I just want to cherish being his Momma in this season of our lives right now. Hello, everyone!! So happy to be talking about this subject (as silly as that sounds) Yet, I feel like the past couple months I have truly learned so much about my own nutrition, healthy recipes, and some solid snacks that are healthy and not completely disgusting. HA.
Anyways, I did want to preface this blog by saying that at the moment I am cutting to get into the 49k (107.8lbs) weight class at the end of October. Yes, I also do count my own macros. I don't have a coach or a nutritionist to help me, but I just typed my goals into the MyFitnessPal app, and it customized my macros to meet my needs. As of right now, below are my macros for one day: 1600 Calories 80g Protein 200g Carb 53g Fat Full disclosure - I always go up in my protein. I eat around 110g of protein a day and cut back on the carbs. I can never hit my carbs. Yet, I am sure to always stay around 1500-1600 calories a day. My bodyweight sits right around 50.9k - 51.9k (112lbs - 114lbs) by following these macros. 1 week out I do plan on manipulating my sodium, carb, and water intake to make the 49k cut easier on my body. That way I won't have to lower my calories anymore than 1500 -1600 because your girl likes to eat! Now, this is a temporary meal plan. After this meet, I do plan on upping my calories back to normal. Around 1900-2000 is where I feel comfortable with maintaining my weight and gaining strength. Then if all goes as planned, I will cut back to 49k just in time for March to compete at the Arnold Classic - which happens to by University Nationals! Now let's get to the FOOD. In the morning, I tend to be heavier with my fat intake so it will satiate me until lunch time. I have a problem with waking up at 6:30 AM, eating right away then sitting at my desk during work and feeling like I need to eat another thing before my lunch break. My top breakfast of the day are frozen Kodiak Cakes with peanut butter on top of them. I eat 1 Thick n Fluffy frozen buttermilk/vanilla waffle with 1-1.5tbsp of peanut butter. Below are the macros for this - 330calories 26.5gcarbs 18.5gfat 13.5g protein Again, this is pretty high in fat, but that is intentional. It is to keep me full until lunch time. Which it does the trick! This with a cup of Coffee Over Cardio Espresso Fit... Mmmm. And they're fricken' frozen waffles, they taste good and they are super easy. With my lunch. I NEVER change this up. With breakfast, you could always make a couple egg whites, oats with peanut butter, etc. I used to do that, but it didn't keep me that full. Yet, with lunch, this is my go to. I never eat anything else for lunch - 3 ozChicken, 4 oz Broccolli, 0.5 container of Uncle Ben's Ready Rice. I know, it's not that fancy, but I like to sometimes drizzle some hot sauce or buffalo sauce over the meal after heating it up. The macros are below - 313calories 48.4gcarbs 4.2g fat 24.6g protein Super simple and easy to prep at home. You can change up the broccoli with peppers. You can substitute the chicken with another type of meat. For dinner, I sometimes like to make a variation of this - Which is 2.5oz Steak, 85g Bell Pepper, 0.5 container of rice. Then drizzled with some hot sauce to give it a little kick! I love those simple hearty meals, and the possibilities are endless when it comes to changing up the meats, and the veggies. All the macros are pretty much the same, and you can see that I did have a higher carb intake since it's lunch time and closer to when I usually train. Fats are significantly lowered since I personally gain weight while eating fats, and I feel bloated. Which isn't how I want to feel before training. THEN... SNACK TIME - I make sure to eat at least 1 snack a day. Depending on how my macros line up. Because there are definitely days when I skip breakfast (not intentionally) or even lunch depending on how the work day is going. Or the latter, when I eat 2 different things for breakfast and don't leave enough calories for a snack... Below are my go-to's. The Builder Bar from Cliff Bar. I have also used this as a breakfast item because I will say, though the macros are good, and it doesn't taste like a normal protein bar (I hate protein bars like Quest... I just don't like the texture AT ALL) it is pretty high in calories for a "snack" Below are the macros - 300 calories 29g carb 11g fat 20g protein I love how much protein you get from the bar, the taste/texture is great, but just realize that this is 300 calories. My other go-to that I eat EVERYDAY. Now this is my pre-WOD snack 99% of the time. Unless if I run out, but I've never had to do that because I literally always have these stocked up. And again, so convenient. My Oats Over Night! These are absolute heaven. I love overnight oats, and I did try these for breakfast for a while. Yet, with them being so high in Carb/Protein, I wouldn't feel as full throughout the day, and I felt the need to snack more while at work. Which is why I changed it to my pre-workout snack! Below are the Macros for the Maple Overnight Oats with 8oz of Almond Milk (there are multiple flavors which differ slightly)- 320 calories 40g carb 8.5g fat 22g protein So you can see I definitely have that higher carb intake with this snack. Yes, the calories are higher, but I do need them in order to have a good quality training session. Super easy, a little expensive, but I find that the price is worth it if buying in bulk. I got 40 for around $70..? Which sounds like a lot, but I haven't needed to buy any in like 2 months. It just depends if you think it's worth it or not. As far as desserts go... I don't eat desserts :( I consider my waffle something a little sweeter, and I drink my Coffee Over Cardio Hydrate mix with water. The flavors I have are Candy Watermelon and Peach Tea. They are really sweet, and that satisfies any late night sweet cravings I may have. (Use 10PRESLEYCRUZ to get 10% off all your purchases! They truly are a great company, and I love working with them!) So when I had my calories a teeny bit higher at 1650, below was one of the "perfect" days I hit my macros (50% carb, 20% protein, 30% fat)- Breakfast: Thick Fluffy Kodiak Cake Waffle w/ PB Sugarfree Pumpkin Spice Creamer (2tbsp with Espresso Fit Coffee from Coffee Over Cardio) Lunch: 3oz Chicken 4oz Broccoli 0.5 container of Uncle Ben's Ready Rice Dinner: 2.5oz grilled Steak 31.5g Sweet potato fries Snacks throughout the day: Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Overnight Oats (Pre training snack) Advocare Pre-workout Pink Lemonade (with Pre-training snack) Candy Watermelon Hydrate from Coffee Over Cardio (before bed time rehydration) Fiber One Bar (140 calories - didn't mention this in the blog, but a mid morning snack) So you see, there are definitely ways to eat healthy, measure out your food, and prep while also being a busy Momma. I don't starve myself as you can see. There are definitely options out there that take little to no prep, have good macros, and will keep you full throughout the day. Just listen to your body, know your goals, and go from there! |
AuthorPresley T. Cruz Archives
January 2021
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